Caution Required When Using Hair Relaxers
In my article Why Black Women Don’t Get Married, I expressed that Black women have a hard time finding a mate because of three reasons: there is a shortage of Black men, Black women are already adapted to being the head of the family, and Black women refuse to date outside the Black community. But now, I want to elaborate on why Black men don’t seem to want to be married.
Like the White liberal educated guy she was dating, the family didn’t think they had a problem with interracial dating until she walked in with him. The mom didn’t want to see her son. She felt she didn’t fit the picture. And even when walking with him in Harlem and they meet like five Black dudes at a corner, she got that awful feeling of ‘you’re holding his hand and you want to pull your hand away coz you don’t want the judgment.’ She says Black men certainly are more comfortable with interracial dating. And she describes the feeling Black women have when they see a Black man with a White woman as an instinctual primal feeling of ‘you want her you don’t want me. I don’t look anything like her, so you don’t like’.
Blacks were incensed when Bill Cosby spoke the truth, harsh and candid as it was, about the state of Blacks in America. He cited lack of parental control, drug addiction, teen pregnancy. He urged young black men to pull up their pants and learn a useful skill. He challenged young dating site for black and white singles to spend more time on what goes in their heads than what is put on them. We were urged to take care of ourselves, our parents and our communities. The result was a bunch of black people upset with Bill Cosby. He had aired our dirty laundry. It was fine when we knew that we were a dysfunctional culture. It’s just not our way to tell everyone about it.
If you know of white men who are “not attracted to black women”, and haven’t seen too many white men dating or approaching black women, don’t make a sweeping judgment about all white men. You don’t like it when a sweeping judgment, better known as a stereotype, is applied to you, do you? Despite popular belief, it does not benefit you to hate, stereotype or dismiss white men. So don’t do it.
I want to begin with why I named this article Love Thy Self. The second commandment is to love your neighbor as you love yourself. This is the simplest, yet most misunderstood commandment of them all. To love yourself as you love your neighbor is a simile. To do something like or as you do something means that those things should be the same, equal, or at least similar. To love thy neighbor as you love thy self means that the love you have for someone else and for yourself should be the same. Not less, not more- the same.
I honestly believe that most Black women don’t care about white women black men dating site white women. But, why do we have to be drug in the mud for these Black men to feel OK with their decision to date White women?
There was a time in the Black community when children knew their place, when parents really parented, when the village cared about all of the children, not just one. There was a time in the Black community when we helped each other, took each other’s problems as our own and then set about solving them. Those days are long gone, a memory that is slowly morphing into myth.
Can you see how powerful that is Let me explain further. You have shown confidence by assuming she will say yes. Also you have been cheeky by asking what day is best next week. This is cool because she is a lot more likely to come up with a positive answer than if you just selected a random day.